Thanksgiving damage

OK, I did it, too. You told yourself you would be good, but you went and made a glutton out of yourself on Thanksgiving. Depending on who you talk to, the average Thanksgiving dinner has 3000-4000 calories. Did you have some wine and snacks before dinner? Add that in, too.

However, I am not going to lecture you. Thanksgiving is about spending time with family and loving life. Eat up and make yourself miserable. If you want to save some calories in some of the recipes by using low fat substitute ingredients, go for it. I am of the opinion, and personal habit, of eating like it was going to be my last meal on Earth.

The question now is what are you prepared to do about it after the fact? A true rainmaker would have the discipline and intensity to compensate for it. So, for the next 10 days, I want you to do the following:

1. Workout 8 times and add 10 minutes to each cardio workout and/or 1 extra set to each resistance exercise
2. Eat 250 less calories per day. That is the equivalent of one big bowl of cereal with milk or about one Powerbar. You can do that.
3. No alcohol.
4. Do not gorge yourself again. Be good.

After 10 days, you will have made up for your piehole stuffing by just doing a tiny bit more (or eating a little bit less) than you do every day. That wasn't so hard, was it?

BREAKING NEWS: diets are no fun and don't work

Not exactly a news flash, is it?

I should clarify the headline of this post a bit. Diets actually DO work if you are talking about losing weight. However, if your goal is too STAY thinner, they have a worse success rate than most Middle Eastern peace treaties. There are many reasons for this, but the one I think is most important is the fact that diets, no matter which one you choose, are a temporary regimen of absurdity followed by a great deal of hoping that the weight never comes back. The concept of diets does not pass any reality test. Consider if a co-worker, Cindy, made the following statement to you:

"I have not been doing well at work lately. I have let a number of things slide. So, for the next 2-3 months, I will work 12 hours a day and not take any breaks whatsoever. Once I get to what I feel is a comfortable level of achievement, I will go back to taking breaks, chatting at the water cooler and start my regular work routine again."

Who would like to guess how things will be for Cindy three months after her little project? I think she will be right back where she started. It kind of sounds a lot like this statement:

"I have gained 20 pounds. I have let my eating and exercise habits slide. So, for the next 2-3 months, I will diet and work out seven days a week and not have any sweets or fast food whatsoever. Once I get to what I feel is a comfortable weight, I will go back to my usual dinners, going out with friends and start having my regular lunches with co-workers again."

I would expect Cindy is going to see that 20 pounds again within a year.

Diets fail because they are temporary solutions to systemic lifestyle problems. For most people, the reason they are gaining (or can't lose) weight is related to one of the following issues:

• Their food portions are bigger than they think
• They put too much extra stuff on their food (cheese, butter, cream, sauces, etc.)
• They are eating food that is exceptionally dense in calories
• They are not counting liquid food (alcohol, soft drinks, juices, etc)
• When they diet, it is such a miserable experience that they cheat at the drop of a hat

Read this article about why diets fail and see if you are setting yourself up for disappointment.

Funny thing about aging

On MSNBC.com, I ran across a funny quote about exercise and aging:

"...In myself I've come to notice that aging comes in spurts. I've asked others, and they pretty much agree. I'll look the exact same way for a decade, and then — wham! — God hits the progeria switch and for two years the downhill plunge begins anew.

And then it stops again.

My body will plateau for another decade, until the next time it decides to collapse a bit more. Which is funny, because in a weird plot twist, I'm probably in better shape now than I was at 20. Many reasons: I quit smoking in 1988 (though I could start again right now), I stopped eating crap two years ago, and last year, I finally found a gym that doesn't allow music: no John Cougar Mellencamp blasting at maximum volume while circus freaks in harem pants and the thong equivalent of a T-shirt make those embarrassing orgasm noises while bench-pressing the mathematical squares of their IQs. Instead, I can think and enjoy my time working out without a massive sonic brain invasion. It makes all the difference. And what do I think about in the gym? Muscle tissue breaking. And then I try to decide whether to rebuild or pack it in. My ligaments are iffy about whether they should snap or strengthen. My body tries to decide whether to age or become more powerful. And as a control freak, it bugs me so much that a lot of this stuff is beyond my control. Exercise, sure, but at the end of it, instead of looking thinner, I may merely look gaunt. Or haggard. Or — ironically — my age..."

We get smarter and wiser as we age, so make sure you take advantage of it with your exercise program, too.